Touche Mr. Velasquez (kinda short)

by Ohio Impromptu

Published June 15, 2005

Touche Mr. Velasquez

Touche Mr. Velasquez,
you beat me at my own game of hide & seek.
Who would've thought I'd hide under your shoes?
You seem to do it a lot anyway.
Slow down the music as it told itself to just then.
I love this song like i love you, total separation from what like.
I like whats coming.
A fingertapping solo as a metronome for the rhythm of my one handed typing habit,
out of time with our maverick heartbeats,
just like we never planned.
And this right here is the concept of 'us'.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Liz
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Liz commented Comment · Jun 16, 2005

I like it. Very abstract, but somehow musical. The only problem seemed to be line 8, which was far too long to fit the rhythm of the poem. Apart from that, good work.



Russets and tangerine shades of old gold flushing the very outside edge of the senses ... deep shining ochres, burnt umber and parchments of baked earth—reflecting on itself and through itself, filtering the light.
— Guildenstern (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard)